2015 Resolutions: Doing More of What You Love

I've spent the afternoon curled-up in a snowflake-decorated Christmas blanket, a new notepad and pen scattered on my desk and - for the most part - Code Name Verity by Elizabeth Wein clutched in my hand. Whilst I had set aside a few hours for some productivity, and was prepared to take pictures for a book haul and write a few articles, time was spent almost drooling over the cupcake section found in the Hummingbird Bakery recipe books I bought after a visit to the shop in London. From the lack of school textbooks in sight and few less post-it notes covering my desk, it's quite clear that exams are over for now. After weeks of reading only Of Mice and Men - in preparation for an English Literature paper - and revising rather than writing, I'm welcoming a weekend of no work with open arms. And by writing my first post of 2015.

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With the foreknowledge that I would have to wake at 7am for school, and that it was already approaching midnight, I still sat awake for a while reading Wein's novel after exams came to an end on Thursday. In fact, when the fatigue hit Friday mid-morning, I didn't mind. That hour of reading, until the words were literally becoming a blur, had been completely worth it. Having just worked my way through my Goodreads archive, I know that I haven't finished a book of my choice since November(E. Lockhart's We Were Liars), and most of that was devoured in one-sitting on a Friday evening. I'll admit that over the past few weeks, I've almost forgotten what I love to do. When there have been a few hours free, all I've wanted to do is settle in front of the TV, rather than spend more time in my room(where I would usually like to sit quietly and read). I've realised that the stresses of school have meant that any other hobbies have been non-existent; that the fear of failure and disappointment meant that exams have been the only things that have mattered. I didn't want the nightmare scenario of looking at my results and being disappointed.

 

In fact, now that the weeks of consecutive exams are over, the thought of sitting down to write was a daunting one. As soon as I started to type, the sound of the keypad became familiar again, along with the need to alternate between the draft and my Twitter notifications! It's been an instant mood-changer. The stomach-churning feeling that's had it's hold on me these past few weeks, almost threatening to suffocate me, is now starting to be replaced. I've noticed that reading isn't merely a pastime or hobby: it's a necessity. The escapism is something I've come to crave, even for a short while being able to experience the world from another perspective. I've missed the freedom that simply a notebook and pen provide; the time I used to spend updating a diary and writing to-do lists had been replaced had lost out to revision. By not doing these things, I've managed to lose a little piece of myself. I've not had a current read to freak-out about to friends, or a reply when someone has asked me about books I'd enjoyed recently. Opinions I've had on news stories or topics have had to be held-back, rather than written about and shared in a discussion. For the first time in months, my email inbox has also been very empty.

 

Rather than, as planned, writing out a list of resolutions for 2015, I've decided to pick one: to do more of what I love to do. This might not be the easiest goal to achieve, since I now have a countdown detailing the number of days until I finish school, but it has to happen. There won't be days spent studying inside, crammed in a corner of my room, slowly becoming a caffeine addict from all the coffee I've consumed. What I'm hoping for is evenings spent drinking Frappuccino's at Starbucks, weekends where all I do is read and weeknights where I come home to blog. Then some revision - when the time comes. There's a handful of smaller goals, such as reading more of the books I own and accepting a few less review copies, but I'll share them if I stick with them!

What are your goals and resolutions for the year?

Tell me in the comments!

Sophie
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